I have an unpopular opinion for office rules

Kindness is NOT for the weak

Hello People!

This is our weekly newsletter of Raw and Real, where each week, I share:

1 Raw story that would perhaps help you see things differently
2 Real truths of life
3 things to be grateful for

Let’s go!!

1 Raw story of the week

We live in a world of corporate rat race.

Be practical.
Send quick replies.
Look at the metrics.
Be the boss’ favourite.
Get things moving fast.
Clear 100 emails in 10 minutes.
Think about getting work done.

All of these are not only good.
They are excellent.

With only one problem:

Sometimes, in the race of all of this, we forget what is most important: Kindness.

We respond hastily, when a colleague wants all our attention.
We are rude to our clients and partners, when all we must do is listen.
We are cranky with our family and friends, when we are supposed to be 100% present.

That’s not the worst part.

And the worse part is, most people do not even realise this.

Because they are simply busy running from one goal post to another goal post, one project party to another project party, one headache to another headache.

In all of this, heart takes a backseat.

I have a totally different take on this:

You can be loving and be firm.
You can be kind and get things done.
You can be welcoming and draw your boundaries.
You can be peaceful yet approach your work like a warrior.
You can have fun pro max and be very strict with your work.

You do not have to be in one boat to win.
Rather, victory happens, when you are rocking both the boats.

But the number one objection against this, that we face is:

“But I am busy. Too much going on. I can’t be kind.”

Of course you can.

Here’s how:

1. Say thank you often
   Even to people who are mostly not grateful.
   They do them. You do you :)
   

2. Take care of your tonality
   93% of our conversations are body language and tonality.
   In IM and text conversations, being a master of these is half the task done.
   

3. Don’t tell the truth straight away
   Instead of “you are wrong, you need to change this”, say “I’d love to understand how this happens,”. Replace aggression with curiosity.
   Truth when robbed of its civility, becomes stubborn accusation.
   

4. Ask for people’s permission to vent out
   I once texted my colleague GJ, stating “I want to cry on this thing. Are you in a space to listen and speak to me?”
   She was super kind to listen to my rant twice in two weeks. However, if she hadn’t said yes, she would still be kind by giving herself the space she wanted - which is what we must acknowledge.
   

5. Let go. A little quickly.
   Let go. Forgive people. Even when they don’t ask for it.
   Certainly draw your boundaries. Learn the lessons. Be a little wiser.
   But, do not allow them in your mental space as well.

Here is what I want to leave you with:

Most problems in our lives with kindness do not occur because you were easy to walk over.

Most problems in our lives with kindness occur because we are kind only to please people, and not in real sense, like the way we spoke above.

If you are truly kind with yourself, you will always know where to be kind, and where to be firm and draw your boundaries.

2 truths of life:

• You will grow at anything you want to grow at.

• There is lesser competition at the top. But it is the mountain top you’d love to go to, not the mountain top you are going to, to show off.

3 things to be grateful for:

1. Nice home made sweets on Rakshabandhan. I was home this week and Mom had kept this box in my cupboard. All I need now is more work on my self-control skills :)

   

2. Friends who make time to catch-up.
   We make work relationships a priority because they pay us money.
   We make family a priority we must.
   But the relationships of friendships where there is no ultimate interest and still we show up, is so beautiful. Met my school friends after 4.5 years, as all three of us were in our home town at this time :)

   

3. The ability to show up and meditate every day, at the time I love to - creating the life I want to be living. Such massive gratitude!

That’s it, ladies and gentlemen!

Thanks for reading Raw and Real. It truly means a lot :)

See you all next week 🙌

Nishtha

PS: Don’t forget to forward it to friends who would love such raw and real truth bombs :))