No one understood me, absolutely no one
I wish you do not have to go through that
Hello People!
Welcome to another edition of Raw and Real, where every week, we speak about:
1 Raw and Real conversation of life
2 one-liners
3 tiny and big gratitudes for life (because gratitude brings plentitude)
Let’s go!!!!
1 Raw and Real conversation
In 2020, I suffered from depression.
For 2-3 days straight, I used to cry all day.
For no reason.
Just bawling and tears ebbing out.
Endlessly. Fearlessly(!!) Timelessly.
I used to spend the entire day in my room, and used to go out only for meals. Putting up a smiling face so that no one noticed.
Until one day, it finally went out of hands.
I stepped out of my room and started crying in front of my Mom.
And I cried for almost half an hour with her.
She tried to console me, listen to me, hug me, even offered to visit a doctor.
But nothing made sense to me right then.
What’s worse?
My sister came home that time and she suggested how she spends time being happy with her son.
Really? Bruh? I love you both but is that the way to console someone who is crying for days and doesn’t know the reason of it?
Later that evening, my Mom shouted at me for usual reasons for not putting my clothes in the cupboard. Mom, did you not see I was not at my peak mental health in the afternoon?
I knew then both love me.
But sometimes (read: always) the best way to be there for someone else is not bring in your personal examples or their small mistakes, and just be there.
Which is when, I knew you cannot be fulfilled from empty cups. They may love you, but you have to be the one saving your life. No one else is coming.
So the first thing I did was to sign myself up for weekly therapy sessions. Still do, 2X a month.
Started journalling all my thoughts.
Read a LOT.
And yes, also became consistent with evening nature walks (workouts were already there).
I basically did all the things that I knew will get me get myself back. And I wasn’t bargaining.
In the next 3 months, I was unstoppable. Pro max.
It completely changed who I was once - crying, clueless, crashed.
Now as I look back, it completely surprises me how standing for myself shook everything that was baseless.
So, today, I want to suggest this to you, my friend:
Don’t break your heart when a loved one doesn’t understand your deepest needs.
Sometimes, they just don’t know how.
But don’t give up on understanding your biggest support system: YOU.
Do EVERYTHING you can, to heal yourself.
If you crush yourself only because your expectations were not met, you might become your greatest enemy when all you needed was an accepting, understanding friend.
Be that accepting, understanding friend for yourself when no one else is there. Because most of the times, no one is going to be there.
2 one-liners:
3 gratitudes for life:
Sometimes people on social media are very very nice in comments and DMs. Last week was one such week. If you are one of them, thank you!
A male friend called me “dear” and I explicitly told him not to. I am grateful to myself, for drawing that boundary. (I may be old school, but it all starts with Dear > Sweetheart > my love > physical thing > throwing out of life > tremendous pain). I do not even want the first step!
I have finally gotten back to daily evening nature walks after almost a year of not doing them. Life is so much on track!
That’s all, bros and sistas for today’s edition of Raw and Real.
Hope this connected with you at some level.
Thanks for reading, always grateful!
Nishtha
…
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