"Promise me you will resign tomorrow", my father said
And do it well.
Raw and Real Conversation
At several points of time in my life, I have been through a corporate hell.
Hell that is disguised as a conversation.
A conversation you have with your manager when you tell them you are about to quit.
“You are doing so good. You will get this rating this time. You cannot run away at the slightest discomfort. (PS: No, it was not a slight discomfort.) There is so much you can do. There is so much the company, the team can grow with you in it. You are such an inspiration.”
I remember so many conversations at multiple points in more than one job of mine.
So much so, that I had started believing that these people love me so much, and I am here to leave them!!
It made me feel worse.
Thus, I continued feeling worse and doing my work.
On weekdays, weekends, family time – all of the time.
I remember I was at my parents’ home in Kota for the weekend, and both the days I was married to the laptop. I cried and cried and cried, that I wanted to move out, but just couldn’t get myself to.
My father could not bear it, and he said that you better not join tomorrow. Don’t go back to Delhi. No need to take an overnight train. You already went through a lot. You have been through it for a long time. Stay here. Think over what you want to do. Then you can go and do whatever you want to.
It took me a lot of effort to convince him to let me go, to which he said:
“Promise me you’ll resign tomorrow.”
I still remember his expression and the spot at home we were having that conversation at. He had the seriousness of a kid wanting that chocolate at any cost. We might think it is trivial, but he meant it in all his senses.
The next day at work, as usual, I was lured into believing I was so much loved in the company.
Let me tell you, I was not born with a silver spoon. Nor was I saving much back then.
The addiction to monthly salary was real. And a part of me felt bad on leaving a team that loved me so much!?
However, over time, I have come to realise, if you are good at your work, people don’t shy away in thinking of the company’s good while walking over you. They will stop you. Even say beautiful things. That they should say otherwise. Which won’t invoke resignation in the first place.
Anyhow, I figured it was more of a problem of knowing (it took me years to get to know that):
I am loved EVEN if the company does not love me.
I am loved EVEN if I quit.
I am loved EVEN if there will be first few self-doubts.
I am loved. Period.
Knowing you are loved makes making decisions easier. With parents on your side, it is a cakewalk. Knowing you are loved, makes you happy from within. When you are happy from within, even when you are not making money from any other source than the job you have right now, you will know that you will be fine, and you will make money from the right source.
It does not mean you quit your job the moment your colleague is mean to you for losing a stapler pin that you didn’t touch in the first place.
But if all colleagues are mean for such trivial things all of the time, maybe it is more than trivia.
Maybe it is a sign you need to trust yourself more.
Raw One-Liners
If an action of someone is uncomfortable, voice it. People aren’t mind-readers.
What you need is often on the other side of a nature walk and a clean desk.
Real Gratitudes
Banana. Oh, the source of energy. It makes exercises worth it and evenings healthy without giving in to a dessert.
Sleep. If you can sleep well at night, do you have any idea how much that is worth!
Be grateful for the money you have right now, no matter what it is. Money is not evil. It is beautiful. Don’t hate yourself for wanting it. But love it for what is with you, right now.
That is it, friends.
Stay raw, stay real
Nishtha
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Whenever you are ready, here are some of my ebooks that would help you (you can access them instantly):
The Corporate Life Handbook: The book everyone working a corporate job needs :)
The Career Changing Guide: My bestseller so far :)
How to Deal with Heartbreak: Because, life happens :(
Every Writer Needs to Read this: I wish I had this one, when I was starting out as a writer
This is What You are Looking for: Small Life Lessons for a Happier Life